#that last gif kills me #because you know damned well that this was when cas decided that he wasn’t leaving #but he would go with dean and make sure that dean got out safely #there’s so much resignation in his expression there #he knows that dean is stubborn as hell #he knows that arguing the point is futile #so cas nods #he goes along for the ride #but hearing all of this from dean probably broke him #their relationship is so f***ing tragic #because when dean finally gets the courage to tell cas that he needs him #it’s the last thing that cas could possibly want to hear #these two a**holes are going to be the death of me
Cas knows Dean needs someone to fight for to get himself out. So Cas decides to be that for him, to keep doing what he can to keep him safe and get him home. That’s always been his goal.
Dean telling Cas that he wouldn’t leave without him is a complete game changer. That Dean didn’t immediately leave when Benny told him about the ‘tear’ in Purgatory, and rush back to Sam, the one person he loves above all, and instead stayed for a year looking for Cas, just screams Dean’s devotion and LOVE for his angel. And you can definitely bet that Cas realized this too.
#I HATE SO MUCH THAT THE ONLY PERSON HE EVER EXPRESSED THIS TO WAS HIMSELF #THE ONLY PERSON HE EVER TURNED THIS ANGER ON WAS HIMSELF #AND THAT IT WAS A SINGULAR MOMENT OF HIS SENSE OF SELF-WORTH #THAT DIDN’T LAST AT ALL BUT QUICKLY SETTLED BACK TO ZERO #AND NOBODY WHO KNOWS HIM WOULD EVER BELIEVE #THAT HE’D EVER SAID THESE THINGS ALOUD #ONLY SAYING THEM TO HIMSELF IN A DREAM #ISN’T CHANGING ANYTHING IS IT? #SO NOBODY EVER SAW THIS #THIS WAS THE DREAM SAM SHOULD HAVE SEEN #BOBBY TOO #BUT THIS REMAINS A THING OF DEAN ALONE #NO ONE HEARD HIM #JUST A DREAM #A NIGHTMARE #EXPRESSING THIS ANGER ALOUD WAS A NIGHTMARE TO HIM