Friendly neighborhood reminder that this is what Dean’s face looks like when he finds out Cas is in trouble.
It looks like it crosses his mind for a moment that he almost killed Gadreel, because he came pretty damn close. If he’d not held himself back, it would have meant Cas’ blood was on his hands too and I don’t think he can take another blow like that. He’s barely held together as it is. This is a mixture of fear of what he almost ruined and the relief that he didn’t follow through.
Cas wanted so badly for his brother to be back
to just have a brother, one as amazing and understanding of free will as gabriel
to be back
and to tell him ‘you can do this little bro, I believe in you’
to just have that connection to someone all his, an untainted family member that loved him and cared
Fuck you Metatron, for giving him that and taking it away.
at five in the morning the phone goes off and dean slaps his hand across the bedside table without looking at it, fumbling until his fingers close around his cell. he rolls onto his side and stares at it until the little screen comes into focus.
are you okay?
and then another text rolls in a second later, i’m not angry. and dean is about to type back something sarcastic, ask why castiel can’t be watching infomercials in peace like everybody else, when a third one pops up, and dean’s breath catches in his throat. his head throbs a little, and it’s not just from the shit he swallowed down last night. i’m afraid, it says. afraid for you.
don’t be, dean sends. he writes, and then deletes, not worth it, and puts his phone face down on the blanket. after a second, it vibrates. dean turns it over.
it’s only a mark. it can’t define you.
okay, dean writes. he doesn’t know what else to say. he doesn’t know whether he’s grateful or sort of sick, bone-weary, too tired and worn to feel anything at all. but he holds his phone against his chest for a second while he waits. waits, in case cas wants to say anything else. just so he won’t miss it.
every cut rate villain thinks they can analyze dean winchester like he’s just daddy issues in a leather jacket, well fuck them. he’s so much better than that, so much stronger and kinder, so much more. fuck every villain who thinks they can get inside his head when they don’t understand his heart.
I’m actually so terrified for Cas oh god
i am so extra hardcore worried about castiel’s fate on the show you guys